Vent.
heeey there,

well um i'm not in the best mood today so there will be no cheery posts today. i decided to make a list of things that i hate.

1) assignments; well, this one is a given. they are boring and hard and time-consuming (i could have been blogging instead!). i tend to leave them to the night before they are due and get it trouble for it.
2) dial up; oh, my, god. it's horrible. for you people with broadband, you have no idea how freaking blessed you are to have it. if you don't appreciate your fast internet, i suggest using dial-up for a week and you will never take it for granted ever again. it drives me insane having to disconnect so my mum can use the phone, (which i suspect she sometimes does it just to get me off the net) and having to wait an hour for a youtube video to load. it is the computer nerds personal hell.
3) racism; obviously. it makes me really angry when people are so ignorant about it. and it frustrates me when no matter how hard you try to reason with a racist person they still have no idea how wrong it is. i had an argument with a now ex-friend about it, and it got me so worked up because he said some pretty foul stuff, and yet he still claims he's not a racist. pff, yeah right.
4) unrequited love; this one just really sucks. it sounds corny but anyone who has experienced it will know where i'm coming from. it's the worst feeling in the world, feeling so strongly about a person and wanting to be with them, but they don't even notice you. you have no control over it. the feeling is pretty much in the past for me now, but i remember feeling so frustrated about it, and wanting to scream at him a lot. sometimes i just hate guys full stop. they make you feel like a million bucks one minute then tear you all up the next. arghhh.
5) bad moods; you know them down moods where you feel like all hope is lost and nothing can ever make you feel better. i get them a lot and it seems they are occuring more often. i still haven't found a good way to cure them but there are a few certain special people who can make me smile even in them moods. (:

sorry if i put you in a downer mood. i tried to end the post on a positive side. and i do feel a lot better now. a lot. (:
9:20 PM | Category: , | 1 comments

Possible Career Path?
hellooo there,

i haven't blogged in a long time as i have been busy with assignments and such, but i am back now with something to actually blog about.
i was watching tim bailey's weather programme about half and hour or so ago, and it was the segment in which people sent in weather photographs and won a camera for the best one. aside from how awful his hair looks, it got me thinking about what i wanted to do when i grew up. i love travelling (or, i would love to travel, since i haven't actually done any yet), and i love writing and i love taking photos, BUT, travel writing seems so difficult to get into, with all the degrees and stuff you have to earn first to get anywhere. then i thought how much i wanted to get a book published, and how i am so bad at keeping focus on such a big task as a whole novel. then it hit me. it seemed like the best idea in the world to me, but hey, i'm still looking for a second opinion.

i'm going to backpack across australia, taking photos as i go, then put them all into a book. of course i will be including some writing about the places i have visited as well, but i am hoping that the photos will look good enough to be the main focus of the book.

it probably won't generate an awful lot of money, but i know i will have a lot of fun! and after i have saved up enough money, i will go to other countries, particulary europe and asia.
haha, i am already excited! i better start saving up some money, this isn't gonna be cheap, i can tell you that ...

well, any feedback or advice will be greatly appreciated! until next time ...
jessss. (:
6:31 PM | Category: , | 3 comments

50 questions.
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
hey you know what, i don't look so bad this mornin'! hehe.
2. How much cash do you have on you?
none, i went broke yesterday after the movies.
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
poor.
4. Favorite planet?
i'm gonna be boring and say this one because i love earth.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
nickyyy.
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
hiatus. it's like this cool oriental sounding tone.
7. What shirt are you wearing?
a yellow t-shirt.
8. Do you label yourself?
nah not really. i guess i'd call myself a bit of a nerd.
9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?
uh, bare feet?
10. Bright or Dark Room?
bright. dark rooms make my mood dark.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
i have noo idea who they are, lol.
12. What does your watch look like?
well it's silver and shiny and looks a lot like a mobile phone ... hmmm.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
talking to braydon. (:
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
'get online noob!' haha, to ben, msn is not working so that is why i'm not on.
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
campbelltown.
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
'man', like you know after every sentence man! :P
17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
my little sister. or maybe it was farvie, my granddad.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
my towel.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
does red bull count? haha, i had a sip of my dad's beer last night. it was yuuck.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
none, i use a digital cam. get with the times!
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
either 14 or 15. and i think i'm going to looove being 16. (:
22. Your worst enemy?
i don't really have one.
23. What is your current desktop picture?
the photo of a temple in kyoto, which is also at the bottom of this blog.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
i said bye to sam and dad.
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
a million bucks!
26. Do you like someone?
haha, oh yeah.
27. The last song you listened to?
before the worst by the script.
28. What time of day were you born?
3 in the afternoon.
29. What’s your favorite number?
7? i don't know
30. Where did you live in 1987?
i wasn't even born then.
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
not at all. (:
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
i don't know, probably not.
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
i believe i was in school.
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
i get angry, but they don't usually steal my money.
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
yes i do. sometimes i'm too nice. :/
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
on my wrist.
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
that's obvious, japanese!
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
it depends where they wanted to move ...
39. Are you touchy feely?
haha sort of ...
40. What’s your life motto?
you were born an original, don't die a copy.
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
uh, skin, clothes and hair. they are always on me!
42. What’s your favourite town/city?
sydney city! i would love to go to tokyo though.
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
haha, me and bray had to scab money yesterday for our lunch, if that counts.
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
oh jeez, i don't even remember.
45. Can you change the oil on a car?
nah.
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
that he was going to bed and he would talk to me tomorrow.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
not very far at all.
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
umm. i can't remember. ask me after my birthday and it will be a different story.
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
my knees.
50. Have you been burned by love?
ahh yes, many times.
12:40 PM | Category: | 3 comments

I Feel Very Honoured. (:
I got memed by my brother Benjamin, finding out that he had given me the Honest Scrap Award. I was very surprised as I am very new to blogging and am not entirely sure how to go about it, so it was a great confidence boost!

Born for this, Jessica Solah – Recognize the surname? My sister is another newbie to blogging and her honest thoughts, not yet corrupted by blogging expectations and other adult pressures reminds me of my first forays into blogging and it is really refreshing to see. Us older ones could do better for being so honest.

thanks Ben!

unfortunately, we were supposed to award it to 7 other people, but I don't know 7 blogs, so I'll just name 10 honest things about me anyway.

1) despite me denying it continuously to my family, i finally admit to having an internet addiction, it's true. though i would more say msn, as i don't bother going on unless msn is working. i guess i just love being in social contact with my friends as much as possible, (or crush, i should say ...) or i get really anxious and at times, very depressed and lonely.
2) i want to be a travel writer when i grow up, or something similar that involves a lot of travelling. i want to go to so many countries, i just love the idea of being somewhere new. i have never been out of the country before so i really hope i get the chance.
3) i am hopeless at falling in love. not to say i don't, it's just that i fall for the wrong people, and once i do, it's very hard for me to get over them. the last four years, i have had the exact same scenario happen to me three times. i liked someone, then i met someone else, liking them simultaniously, then got over the first guy from liking the second guy more. then it happened again! luckily i think the situation this time will turn out very nicely. (:
4) i have self-harmed before. it's a big confession to make. it doesn't actually make you feel better more than distracting you from the emotional pain and i really regret the first time i did it.
5) i spent two years going for the eels just because the guy i liked went for them. pathetic i know!
6) looking into the future terrifies the living shit out of me. i have no idea what i want to do, aside from travel writing, and all the things i have considered i don't think i am able to do it. i would much rather life stay how it is now.
7) i love school. seriously. not soo much the learning part (that's okay, i guess.) but seeing my friends everyday and getting out of the house. i secretly (well, it's not a secret now!) wish that i never had to leave school. i'm gonna lose contact with some of my friends which i wish to hold on to.
8) i write songs frequently, and have shown some of my work to friends, who say i have a lot of talent and should become a songwriter. i would love to, but i have no musical ability whatsoever and am extremely self conscious about my songs.
9) i have a serious obsession with paramore! i even got my hair cut like the lead singer. (you can't really tell unless it's styled properly.) half of my music is by them, and sometimes i wish i could be hayley, because i think it would be so friggin' awesome being in a band full of boys!
10) i am hopeless at these things! lol, i really don't know what is approppriate to reveal about myself, and there is a lot.

wellll, yeah. that's it. lols. bye byeee.
7:35 PM | Category: | 2 comments